Just thinking.

Today I was thinking about how lucky I am. Four hours sleep and I need new tires and my clothes are feeling tight and there's so much housework to do, but man, I know I'm lucky. I'm lucky because I do have two jobs and a car that runs and a house that's warm and some kids. When the ex starts bitching, I can just hang up and yes, it gets lonely but I'm never alone and I could have someone if I wanted but I think I'd like to wait. I think I'll buy a camera, one with a great big lens, but what do I know about lenses-I'll just ask my friend and I know that he'll help me and isn't that the glory that you can ask and they can help and you're both bettter for it in the end? Even the most unruly student in my classroom is sweet today. He's resting on his desk, like a fallen leaf. I let him do this because he needs it and because it's nice to see him still. Tomorrow is another day. I'll take this while I can. My mother is coming over after work and though I'm too tired to visit, I'm happy that she's coming because she wants to give me cookies and I want to take them, if for no other reason than a chance to show gratitude but also because they taste good. And I don't want to go to the store. For dinner, maybe we'll have pizza. No reason for cooking when Little Ceasers does it just fine and everybody likes pizza. Even the kids. They don't do dishes. And neither will I. I'm lucky.

Big fat lie

My friend is dating the man of her dreams. They recently became lovers. But there were stipulations. She is not to expect anything. Not exclusivity, not companionship. Not even a phone call. Nothing. And she agreed. Wholeheartedly-she agreed. So now, he knows that it's okay because she assured him it was okay. But let me tell you something. I know what she told him. And I know what she told me. And it's NOT okay. She doesn't expect him to waltz in and out of her life as he pleases, bringing nothing but his manhood to the occasional table. Not by a long shot. I'm not even gonna tell you you what she's hoping for, but it's a far cry away. And that's not what she told him. I am here to tell you that no matter what anyone says, it's not okay to disrespect another person. You wouldn't want it done to you. Even if you say you would. You may not mind a casual, heartless relationship with someone, but not if you're in love with that person. You wouldn't want it. And I know that. We're not so very different-you and I, and neither are you and my friend, or my friend's friend or you and my friend's friend and I and my friend. None of us want to be treated that way. He should have let her go. Instead of insisting on free sex at no cost ever, no guilt, no repercussions, no drama, no tears, no midnight phone calls, no regret- he should have let her go. But he didn't. 'Cause the man of her dreams is not really a dream at all. He's an opportunistic, self centered creep. My friend just got the man that she wanted. And I feel sorry for her.