Just a small observation. I work in the detention room at a middle school. I meet lots of troubled kids with a host of different issues. It's not my habit to pry into their lives but I always offer a shoulder or an ear, and more times than not, they use it. These kids have a lot to say and they tell a lot of stories. Here's one thing though, that I've never heard. "My dad is nice." Never. Not even, "My dad is cool," "I love my dad," I need to talk to my dad." Never.
It is my understanding that that men like to be the "fun parent." They also tend to be the "tough parent." Truthfully, it's not working. Better to be tough on yourself and nice to your kids than to take the easy way out with Disneyworld and a stiff fist. Better to sit down with them for a board game that you don't have to win, where you teach them the value of fair play, common courtesy, and patience. Where you take the difficult road and be nice to your kid. But you know what? Just forget about it. Why waste your time on good parenting when you're already spending more than you can afford to make the brat happy? Crack the whip a little harder, raise your voice a little louder and drink a beer. It's all job security to me. These kids wind up in my detention room, leaning on my shoulder, whispering in my ear. And when I ask them if they have a parent that can help them, the response is pretty consistent. "Not my dad."
