Halleluia!

So i'm feeling pretty confident that I have most things figured out. I have my kids, my jobs, my house. I have a clear understanding of who I am and what I DON'T want. But when it comes to spirituality and religion, maybe I'm still just a little confused. Being raised Catholic, I was definitely given a very clear set of principles and standards to live by. But being raised imperfectly Catholic also fostered some doubts in my mind. I, like most everyone I know, I think, accept the parts of the Bible that work for me, or that I can make work for me, and reject the parts that don't. (I said most everyone.) I do think that religion is a good thing but I also understand the danger of its power. Now that I am single, I get lots of invitations to attend different churches. There must be a profound joy involved in bringing guests in to worship. That or there are a lot of people who feel very sorry for me at the moment. I usually decline the invitations, with the explanation that, like relationships, the last one didn't work out for me and I'm not in a hurry to replace it. But I am ready to explore, if for no other reason, than to educate myself; to get clear on what I really believe, and to make reasonable goals for myself. I already know what I don't want. I need to know what I do want. So beginning today, I will be visiting local churches with friends. If I get an invite, I'll go. I even plan on looking up some old invites. And maybe even requesting invites. But today, I visited a Pentacostal church with one of my very favorite women friends. Her faith and spirituality are so honest and so refreshing, that you can't help but be inspired by her every time she speaks. She was very persistent that I join her at church and I have to admit. I was curious. So I went. My first impression wasn't great. The pastor was a beer bellied rocker who bounced around the altar and waved a hanky through the air when he wasn't using it to wipe sweat from his face. Halfway through the service, and not a word of scripture -just a lot of singing from a man who was lovin' the spotlight, I was skeptical. But I had to remember that my amazing friend, who was happy as a lark at that moment, had been a member of this church for 50 years! And she was very well adjusted, not to mention, an exemplary role model. She explained to me that the pastor was a "new Christian." and by that, she meant 15 years saved, which is actually "better than an original Christian because their struggles are that much more profound." I guess I could see her point. Kinda. But where was the scripture? Shouldn't this be about The Good Word and not a rock concert, written, performed, and dedicated to The Word? And just as I was thinking it, there it was. "Watch your mouth." "You can talk life or you can talk death. Your words are powerful. Watch your mouth." Oh boy. Wasn't I just saying in a previous blog, that it's really okay to speak your mind, even in criticism? Then he said that many religious leaders are just performers and that he wasn't merely performing, but talking life, singing life, teaching life. Essentially, what he told me was that I was talking death by being verbally critical. And he told me that he, himself was committed to walking the walk. Talking life. Only positives. Now I gotta tell ya, that's almost revulsive to me. But what the heck? Maybe I'll try it. Watch my mouth. Oh Lord. It's gonna be a long day.... Interesting.