Unwanted

All of my life I have channeled my energies on getting the things that I want. 50 years of of striving for the things that I depended on for my happiness have enlightened me to this one truth. It ain't gonna happen. And so I have decided to adjust the focus to the things that I do not want. Interestingly, I am enjoying a much higher success rate with this logic than the prior one. Here is what I do not want in my life. I don't want to be disrespected. I know that I'm not always right, or the smartest or the best at anything I do. I get that. But I don't want to be discounted because of that. I don't want to compete. I have a place in life. It's not the best, but it's mine. I work hard for it. I don't want to have to fight for it. I don't want to be lied to. I only place this in a category outside of disrespct because I acknowledge the school of thought that "Not all lies are disrespectful." But all deceit is a show of disrespect and although I understand that not all humans (very few, infact) are diplomatic enough to always , without fail, deliver the truth with sensitivity and integrity, I do not want people in my life who can't even hope to come close. I don't want to be in a romantic relationship that isn't exclusive. One man, one woman-period. Again, I don't want to compete. I don't want to be unemployed, I don't want to be underemployed. I don't want to depend on a boyfriend, a husband, or a mother to support me. I don't want my children to lose hope. I don't want a yard without flowers or a house without a cat. I don't want to be too hot, too cold, too fat, too thin. I don't want to be unattractive. I don't want to date anyone who is more attracted to a different look. I don't want to change. All of my life, I have hoped to find my happiness by obtaining things. But through the opposite, the process of elimination, I am learning that the things that I thought I wanted, weren't really what I wanted at all. There is nothing so sweet in life as freedom, peace, and peace of mind. It just feels good. And feeling good is good enough for me.